One Last Time

One last time I wish to see the silhouette of your face. To see how my heart will begin fluttering at the mere sight of your doe eyed eyes.

They call it taboo, I call it freedom. Breaking away from the tangles of society, I risk it all. Ours is a relation that will never see the crack of dawn. Afar must we be , seldom shall we meet.

You are the dream I don’t want to wake from. Will pick up the shattered pieces of my imaginations, when I see you for the last time.

The one last time.

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Can I ever get enough of you?

You , who keeps me up at night preventing me to climb to the endless slumbers of disconsolate dreams.

In a world, where we are together .

Together for an eternity to live, together with our music that is our favourite,the blues, the jazz and the pop ,an amalgamation of them all. Lying in your arms,I adore the time that we spend together, and my imaginations runs wild.

You , who has the prettiest soul and the largest heart , not everyone sees through your posterior of marks and cuts .

Can I ever stop adoring your smirk and the joy that you bring to my heart every time I look at you.

You ,who my eyes look for, even when there is not a slightest possibility for you to be there.

You , who will be gone sooner than I’ll ever gather the guts to spill out the my effervescence for .

This infatuation entangles me everyday and every night.

The Banyan Tree

The street that marked the end of solid concrete laid out road where began the earthly floor subtly ,with the hustle bustle of fruit vendors, astrologers covered the floor with thatched mats ,sitting under banyan trees, groundnut vendors with light on pupil flickering due to malfunctioning oil lamps. It all came to a halt with the glimpse of an old banyan tree with roots congregated by old men and women of the town for a weekly panchayat.

They say that the tree is older than the oldest men in our town and its stature has been evolved more than a normal tree. The tree has been said to take care of the well-being and prosperity of the town which is quite a ridiculous fiction if you’d ask me. Have been a rebel, always challenging ways in which this town has worked and continues to work, held together by many such superstitious and orthodox beliefs. Being the Sherlock that I have been entitled ever since I solved the missing money case in my school. Alas the night came when I decided to go near the banyan tree.

When the town was covered in embrace of hard earned sleep and dreams that were out of bound, I snuck out of my creaking wooden door crossing the open courtyard of my abode.The enchanting tree was shimmering. And lo and behold I heard a noise calling out my name. I instantly knew that the story sick Amma was telling was not fiction. The tree really could speak.

“Unclear mind, questions you ask. Unsatisfied thirst of knowledge you have, young blood. Perhaps you want to know my story”

The very bone marrow in my body shook and chills crawled up to my spine. “Fear not child, I am but just a banyan tree, and I long for ears to hear my story”, the voice blurred out. No one could hear the voice except myself. “Tell me then”, I spoke.

“I am Kalavati. And you are Meena.”, spoke the tree. My face in an aghast emotion unable to grasp the reality I stumbled upon the ground.

“Don’t worry child, I have seen it all, your birth, your father’s birth, your grandfather’s birth. His eyes are what you have meena.”

“I have lived with humans for a long time now. We are always marching forward together. It is vehemently sad although for my other counterparts who could not say the same as they do not exist anymore.

Co-existence is the word that is often undermined by humans. Their ancestors have treated us like God, we have been subject of artwork, and yet they fail to let us survive. I have co-existed with humans for centuries so why is it that I am chopped off for all the loyalty I have given to this humankind. ”

big-magic

I came back to senses, to understand the compassion in which these statements were said.

It is very true that humans and nature have always co-existed together. If there wouldn’t be nature we wouldn’t be surviving today and wouldn’t have made the advances that we have made today which are the founding structures of mankind. Many philosophers have often based their most popular philosophy on the figment of nature’s beauty. What is the difference in todays and previous generations that we seem to have began adoring the beauty of silicon chips which are immortal and non-living than beauty of nature which is mortal and living .

What makes humans to destroy ecosystems for their well-being and not be responsible for it. There’s a simple law in nature that states that for every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction and thus, as Indian philosophy states the concept of karma what we are doing and what we continue to do is not in our best interest and hence the results could be preposterous and would only lead to our end.

Nature is mighty and as mighty and powerful as she is so is she astoundingly beautiful. Glance around in your environment and look up a picture of mother nature, what would you find more soothing? The picture or the silicon chips?

FREEDOM:

I dont need to think for the other half, My mind is free from the lashes and with a bruised heart I relish this new realm called Freedom.🏻

Yes the better half no longer completes me but I have found new solace , a world where I am not always the forgiver and I for once, can live my life and become my own master. A world where I don’t have to be second best. Yes, the happiness was immense and yet the hollow of solitude is not filled but I no longer will be blamed for being happy in their happiness. It was genuine , evey inch of it however I am not the receiver of such reciprocating emotions. 

But I will live on, move on, march forward because that’s what life is about.

The Elimination

image01.jpgI stood there flabbergasted. ” He is handicapped.Do you really think he can be here? We took him to gain sympathy but now we are reaching the climax of this show , audience need spice now, not daily dose of melodrama. Stop beating yourself up and now go and pull your show”,said Neeta, the Head of all time high rated ” Great Natraja”.
And so i was pushed towards the stage and the music began. I danced intensely with all my heart and soul. My mother always said I danced my best when I tried to express my emotions which I couldn’t do in person.
I pulled it till the end , as soon as the music stopped I gushed furiously back stage. Judges took my name twice, the crew tried to stop me, but it was no avail. I ran out of the studio dressed as a village belle.
I know he was handicapped but using his disadvantage to my advantage? Has it come down to this? Does the way to success has the stop of Selfishness in its path?
Next morning I reached the studio for rehearsals. I was safe from elimination because the Sympathy Magnet of show was eliminated.
You talk about guilt? Well it’s killing me from beneath. My very bone marrow is unable to grasp the fact. Its shivering,
the fear of God within me is the very fear that a mother has when her son starts smoking the first time.
Can I do something? No, I have a family to feed .
“It’s no brainer that you are the best this show has. And you are going to win it. So stop it. Don’t you want to be famous? Let me tell you something, I didnt reach spot being as fancy and moralistic like one would expect. I pushed people out of my way whenever I had chance. I had to. If i don’t make use of this opportunity , someone else will.”,claimed Neeta.
She is right deep down I know. But this is not me, yes I wanted to become the best dancer India had seen but not this way.
But I can’t do anything about it.
Can I?

Sanjoli Omar